Asshats of the Day

I was reading a short article yesterday about the "Kiss-Mor-Chiks" day (at least my town doesn't have a Chick-Fil-A, so we were spared such idiocy) when the final two sentences of the article, as the British say,  gobsmacked me.

Peoria resident Sally Albrecht hoped to encourage both Christianity and the importance of freedom of speech.


"As a Christian, I feel I have to stand up against this," Albrecht said. "We deserve freedom of speech without the whole world coming down [on] us."

Oh HELL no.

That is unadulterated, abject, utter nonsense.

It's a complete misunderstanding of the First Amendment.

It is also, dare I say it, profoundly unAmerican, to the point where the Founding Fathers will claw themselves out of their graves and start shambling after you.

The text of the First Amendment reads as follows.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances. 

For all you grammar junkies out there, what's the most important part of that entire sentence?

That's right--the very first word. Congress. That is, the government.

Since there weren't any brownshirts (rainbow-flagged or otherwise) at Chick-Fil-A's dragging the protesters off in paddy wagons, we'll assume the government ignored their little temper tantrum. Their protest was perfectly lawful, and as stupid as I think it was, I would defend to the death their right to kick and scream and stamp their feet.

But, just as adults tend to remark on children throwing fits, you don't get to have your tantrums--or your free speech--without consequences.

Since we've just taken Congress/the government out of the equation, that leaves our fellow citizens. As our fellow citizens have as much right to free speech as you do, that means you can certainly support Chick-Fil-A's bigotry if you so wish.

Just as our fellow citizens have the right to call you discriminatory asshats for doing so.

Any other outcome means you, as a Christian (or anyone else who wants to spout abhorrent things without being called on it), are setting up your free speech on a higher, more exalted plane than your fellow citizens' free speech.

Or, as George Orwell, so eloquently put it, "All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others."

Do you really think this is what the Founding Fathers meant by the First Amendment?

Also, Ms. Albrecht (and anyone else who espouses this stupidity) what makes you think you deserve "freedom of speech without the whole world coming down [on] you"?

What, precisely, have you done to deserve that?

Yes, you're a Christian. So? So is one-third of the motherfrakking planet. You're hardly an endangered species.

If you were an endangered species and the whole world was coming down on you, the scenario would look something like this: (1) your houses of worship would be closed down; (2) the Bible would be a forbidden book, possession of which would be punishable by a prison term; (3) any prosletyzing would be cause for arrest.

Is any of that happening?

I don't know about your town, but the listings for my town, depending on search engine, turned up anywhere between 122 and 152 local churches. As far as I know, all of them are open for business, there aren't SWAT teams sitting outside or black helicopters hovering overhead, and none of the worshipers are being tased and hauled off.

Again, what makes you think you deserve free speech without consequences? Just because you're a special Christian snowflake?

Really? You can't prove your religion is the One True Faith, or that your God actually exists for that matter, any more than I can. I may believe my faith is true, and such belief may be an integral part of my life, but that doesn't constitute empirical proof.

It certainly doesn't give me cause to support discrimination.

Yes, Dan Cathy, the president of Chick-Fil-A, gets to spout off. Yes, he gets to close his chain on Sundays if he so wishes. I will defend his right to do both.

Just as I will defend my fellow citizen's right to protest his inflammatory statements, and more to the point, his support of anti-gay causes, and his company's possible employment discrimination. All of which are outlined here, and all of which are far more hurtful than someone publicly disagreeing with you.

So throw your little hissy-fit, Chick-Fil-A Christians, and whine to your heart's content about how mean people are being to you.

But until you're actually nailed to a stake like your Lord and Master, you don't have a chicken leg to stand on.

Asshat of the Day

Arizona voters recalled Russell Pearce specifically because of the "papers please" law, not because of his general wingnut stupidity. So at least he's gone, for now. Unfortunately, he's still stupid.

Russell Pearce Blames Aurora Victims for Massacre

It's a good thing Salil Kapur grabbed a screencap, because the post has now vanished.

What a heart breaking story. Had someone been prepared and armed they could have stopped this "bad" man from most of this tragedy. He was two and three feet away from folks, I understand he had to stop and reload. Where were the men of flight 93???? Someone should have stopped this man. Someone could have stopped this man. Lives were lost because of a bad man, not because he had a weapon, but because noone was prepared to stop it. Had they been prepared to save their lives or lives of others, lives would have been saved. All that was needed is one Courages/Brave man prepared mentally or otherwise to stop this it could have been done. 

This is so disgusting, and makes me so angry, I can hardly gather my thoughts to respond.

First of all: This was a midnight showing, on a weekday night, of a very popular movie. To attend said screening armed to the teeth,  just in case a domestic terrorist walked in and started shooting, requires a level of paranoia that simply does not exist among the general populace. Nor should it.

Secondly: The people of flight 93 (not just men, mind you) had quite some time to think about, talk out, and plan what they were going to do. They had been in touch with their relatives via cell phone; they knew the towers had gone down, and they were on a flight from which there would be no return, either way. This is orders of magnitude different from someone storming a theater and mowing down 71 people in a matter of minutes, in the dark, with tear gas and people stampeding and screaming and slipping on a floor slick with blood. "Someone should have stopped this man," my gold-plated ass. It's vile to even make the comparison.

Thirdly: As has been pointed out by people far more knowledgeable about guns than myself, it would have been impossible to make such a shot anyway, even if the gunman had not been body-armored to the gills. The shooter had all the advantages, and there was nothing anyone could have done. It's as simple as that.

(Of course, what Russell Pearce is really saying here is that if he had been in that theater, by God and the Stars and Stripes, he and his extra-long John Wayne dick would have taken that mofo out. Even if he managed to kill ten more people along the way.)

After this, in a follow-up post, Pearce complains about being "mischaracterized." Sure. He then deletes both posts, so you can't be mean to him any more, wah wah wah.

To borrow a line from President Obama's great ad, Russell Pearce isn't the solution. He's the problem.

Asshat of the Day

This woman.


As protesters assembled on a beach in advance of Mitt Romney's evening event at the home of conservative billionaire David Koch, the candidate slipped to East Hampton for his first of three fundraisers on this tony stretch of Long Island. 


The line of Range Rovers, BMWs, Porsche roadsters and one gleaming cherry red Ferrari began queuing outside of Revlon Chairman Ronald Perelman's estate off Montauk Highway long before Romney arrived, as campaign aides and staffers in white polo shirts emblazoned with the logo of Perelman's property -- the Creeks -- checked off names under tight security. 


A New York City donor a few cars back, who also would not give her name, said Romney needed to do a better job connecting. "I don't think the common person is getting it," she said from the passenger seat of a Range Rover stamped with East Hampton beach permits. "Nobody understands why Obama is hurting them.


"We've got the message," she added. "But my college kid, the baby sitters, the nails ladies -- everybody who's got the right to vote -- they don't understand what's going on. I just think if you're lower income -- one, you're not as educated, two, they don't understand how it works, they don't understand how the systems work, they don't understand the impact."


Ma'am, I'll tell you what.

If you think there's something about this election I don't understand, then I challenge you to explain it to me.

I challenge you to get in your Range Rover and drive across the country to my house (oh, pardon me, my manufactured home)--yes, drive, not fly, because I really think you need to get your head out of your ass and see how the "common people" live (and you're not allowed to whine about gas prices in your 14 mpg, $80,000 vehicle along the way)--and explain to me just how you think President Obama is hurting me.

I'd like for you to explain to me how it hurts me for the President to have saved the auto industry.

I'd like for you to explain to me how it hurts me for the President to have ended the war in Iraq.

I'd like for you to explain to me how it hurts me for the President to have ended "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

I'd like for you to explain to me how it hurts me for President Obama to have signed the Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Act.

I'd like for you to explain to me how it hurts me for President Obama to have killed Osama bin Laden.

Finally, I'd like for you to explain to me just why it's oh so sad that you, as a millionaire, pay one of the lowest tax rates in history.

Since you have such a high opinion of my intelligence, I'll even let you use words of one syllable.

And when you're done with all that, I'd really like for you to explain to me why you're such a stupid, clueless, arrogant, condescending jackass.

Thank you.

Asshat of the Day

Ian Shapira, for writing this idiotic article for the Washington Post.


Shiver or swelter?


It is a question that hardly anyone who has endured both Snowmageddon and Derecho Damnation wants to confront, if only because the question itself triggers its own torment.


In these end times, when the power goes out for what feels like forever, which form of suffering is more painful: freezing temperatures or triple-digit heat? In Washington, where caveats and serious deliberation reign supreme, many veterans of prolonged outages can’t summon a clear-cut answer.

He then rambles on about the most desirable ways to die (throwing in a bit of chain-saw decapitation for shits and giggles), finally coming down on the side of freezing to death.

Oh, for frak's sake. Is this a waste of typeface or what?

Why don't you try this idea on for size, Mr. Happy-Go-Lucky. Maybe if our elected officials would pull their heads out of their asses and actually do something about climate change, we wouldn't have to worry about either one of these grisly ends.

Cripes.

Asshat of the Day

Mitch McConnell, who thinks that 30 million uninsured people "is not the issue." 


MCCONNELL: Well first let me say the first single thing we can do for the American system is get rid of ObamaCare. … The single biggest direction we can take in terms of improving health care is to get rid of this monstrosity. [...] 


WALLACE: But you’re talking about repealing and replace, how would you provide universal coverage? 


MCCONNELL: I’ll get to it in a minute. [...]


WALLACE: I just want to ask, what specifically are you going to do to provide universal coverage to the 30 million people who are uninsured? 


MCCONNELL: That is not the issue. The question is, how can you go step by step to improve the American health care system. … We’re not going to turn the American health care system into a Western European system.

(No matter how much better a Western European system would be, by the way. We're just not going to do it because...that's not the issue, so shut up!)

As someone once wrote (and I'll be hanged if I can remember who it was, and Google is no help; so if you know, please tell me), "There is no hole that goes so far, or is so forever unending, as an asshole."

Asshat of the Day

With so many asshats to choose from today (including Darrell Issa and Antonin Scalia) it was difficult to narrow down the field. But one name finally floated to the top:

Rand Paul.

Fertilized eggs don't have much in common with flooded homes, but Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) is holding up a flood insurance bill until the Senate votes to recognize the life begins at conception.

I suppose Senator Paul thinks that people will be so sad over being flooded out of their homes, they'll just start humping like rabbits to make themselves feel better, and he needs to step in and save all the infants clumps of cells that result.

Fortunately, Harry Reid threw a fit over this--as much as he ever throws a fit over anything. Unfortunately, Harry Reid is naturally so mild-mannered and soft-spoken that you don't think he's pissed even when he actually is.



Although he almost raises his voice in this clip.

One could wish Harry Reid would go full-court Bruce Banner and hulk out on the Senate floor, but Harry doesn't have it in him. However, Rand Paul does have it in him to be a total asshat, and thus he wins today's competition.

Asshat of the Day

Wayne Schmidt.

Thousands of women protested when Michigan State Rep. Lisa Brown (D-West Bloomfield) was banned from speaking on the House Floor for a day after she used the word "vagina" during a debate over anti-abortion bill.

But her colleague, State Rep. Wayne Schmidt (R-Traverse City), said Republican leadership's decision to silence Brown was no different than putting a child in timeout.

"It's like giving a kid a timeout for a day," he told Lansing radio host Patrick Shiels. "You know, hey, timeout, you wanna comment too far, you spoke your piece. We're gonna let these other people have their dissenting comments, and then we'll get back to business."


So an accomplished professional woman, a fellow legislator, is now to be treated as a wayward child? Gotcha.