1. "Chiquitita," Abba A lot better than "Dancing Queen," in my opinion, even though the latter is the song you usually hear in the radio. Agnetha and Anni-Frid sing English like they don't understand a word they're saying, which I suppose they didn't. The "Spanish" rhythm is hokey at best, but it still has a certain...zip to it.
2. "Da Ya Think I'm Sexy," Rod Stewart Say it ain't so, Rod! Stewart's foray into disco actually kinda holds up. Of course, this was long before he got into the Great American Songbook crap. Blonde roach-haired (please pardon the expression) cock-rock at its best.
3. "Making Love Out of Nothing At All," Air Supply And yet another Jim Steinman over-the-top blast of piano crunch and background-singer bombast. He uses the same formula over and over (repeated in Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart" and Celine Dion's "It's All Coming Back To Me Now," as well as nearly all of Meat Loaf's catalog) and somehow it continues to work.
4. "Rock Soldiers," Ace Frehley He speaks the verses rather than sings, but it sure as heck ain't rap. True story of Frehley's "near-fatal wreck," and proof positive why KISS was just a bunch of poseurs without him.
5. "Danger Zone," Kenny Loggins For a while there, Kenny was "Mr. Soundtrack." This, of course, comes from Top Gun. While I can certainly do without Tom Cruise's still-creepy pre-Scientology smirk, Steve Stevens' tremendous guitar work almost makes up for it.
6. "We Built This City," Starship Once proclaimed "The Worst Rock Song Ever," I beg to differ...somewhat. Yes, some of the lyrics sound like they were written during a combination Vicodin/peyote trip, but Grace Slick's voice--what a loss when this woman decided to stop singing.
7. "Bette Davis Eyes," Kim Carnes Lightweight 80's keyboard fluff, to say the least. Still, this song spent how many weeks at No. 1? Twelve or sixteen, if I remember correctly. More than enough, even if she never had another hit, to set her up for life. (However, I remember during the height of this song's fame, Kim appeared on the old ABC late-night sketch show "Fridays." She did "Bette Davis Eyes" and also a kickass version of the Stones' "Under My Thumb," with the gender, of course, reversed. I wish I could find an MP3 of that.)
8. "All Or Nothing," O-Town One of the fast-disappearing Boy Bands, O-Town hardly hung around long enough to make any sort of impression. Well, they made an impression on me. So sue me.
9. "Baker Street," Gerry Rafferty I don't even know what to say about this--he thinks a saxophone gives a song a gritty, urban texture? Nah. He doesn't even qualify as a lightweight Billy Joel. The guitar solo isn't too bad though.
10. "Jeopardy," Greg Kihn This is a case where the video is more memorable than the song that inspired it. Talk about a cheesy three-minute paper-mache zombie horrorfest. In fact, let's see if I can embed the silly thing:
BONUS: W.A.S.P., "Blind in Texas." This is an underrated 80's heavy-metal band who made a career out of fake onstage blood and exploding codpieces. The band, led by the seemingly ageless Blackie Lawless, is still around (and so, presumably, are his naughty bits). They have a sense of humor a lot of other metal bands lack.
Enjoy.
UPDATE: And OOPS, IT'S NOT FRIDAY!! For some reason, I've been thinking it was all day. Oh well.
This wasn't originally a meme, but I've kind of made it into one.
Two Kinds of People
Dog or cat people. (Cats, most definitely. Even better than kids.) Coke or Pepsi people. (No third choice? Bwaa-hah--DR PEPPER!!) Morning or night people. (Morning, when I have to go to work; night when I don't.) Coffee or tea people. (T-t-tea, if you please! Including such oddball varieties as Lady Grey, Darjeeling and Prince of Wales.) PC or Mac people. (I've never messed with a Mac; the idea of learning a new operating system at my advanced age gives me the heebie-jeebies.) David Letterman or Jay Leno watchers. (Staying up that late is a thing of the long gone past.) Jerry Seinfeld people or, well...everyone else. (I must admit I never, ever watched a single episode of 'Seinfeld.' The only way I knew what "yada-yada-yada" meant was by other people joking about it. Does that make me a Geico Neanderthal, now?) Bath or shower people. (Shower! For the life of me, I cannot see the sense of soaking in dirty water.) Heels or "sensible" shoe people. (Heel-less shoes [or perhaps shoeless heels]. I threw out heels more than ten years ago, along with makeup.) Pie or cake people. (Another "but neither." I'd rather have my favorite brand of Wal-Mart trail mix [Paradise or Tropical] along with Hershey's Chocolate Truffles.) Beach people or mountain people. (More mountains. Not knowing how to swim gets you bored with beaches quickly, and my bleached white so-far-no-skin-cancer body greatly appreciates it.) Beer or wine people. (Nah. Blech to both. At the very most I would have a Pina Colada.) Sleep with the window open, or window-closed people. (Depends upon the time of year. If it's below freezing...no way window open.) Sail boat or power boat people. (Ugh. I'm not fond of boats...all I have are flashbacks from Titanic or The Poseiden Adventure.) Toilet paper roll "over" or "under" installers. (Over, of course. Under is redundant, and leads to unnecessary work.) Foreign- or American-made car people. (A car is a car is a car. Of course, if I could afford a Lamborghini, that sentiment might change.) Cooks or microwavers. (Hah. If it wasn't for the microwave, I'd starve to death.) Sweet-tooth people or salt cravers. (Alternating, usually. With a good trail mix, you get both.) In-a-glass or out-of-the-can people. (Glass. With ice. This seems right and proper, even for Diet Dr Pepper.) Breakfast-eaters or breakfast-skippers. (Breakfast eater. I've read too many articles in Prevention to think otherwise.) Black ink or blue ink people. (Fine black ink. You get me the right pen, I might think I'm a proper Englishwoman.) Glasses or contact lens people. (So far, neither, but one never knows how long that Lasik will last.)
