Dreaming of You

When I first saw this video, I thought it was funny.



It still is funny, I suppose (and it must be a parody--I can't imagine the stuffed shirts at Mastercard approving such a thing). It's also creepy and revolting--or at least the kid is, and his comeuppance is greatly deserved. However, the father actually didn't need to step in at all; here's how a smart, savvy young woman could have handled it.

BOYFRIEND: How about a blowjob?

GIRLFRIEND: No.

BOYFRIEND: Come on. Who's gonna see us at this hour? I'll return the favor.

GIRLFRIEND: NO.

BOYFRIEND: Please. I love you so much.

GIRLFRIEND: Obviously you don't, or you wouldn't continue to pressure me.

BOYFRIEND (beginning to sound petulant): Please.

GIRLFRIEND: What part of 'no' don't you understand? Get your whiny, entitled ass off my porch.

BOYFRIEND (goes down steps muttering to himself): Bitch. I paid $75.00 for the dinner, too.

GIRLFRIEND: I heard that. Seventy-five dollars doesn't entitle you to jack-shit. If you're that hard up, use your frakking hand. By the way? Your whiny, entitled ass and I are no longer together.

That's one video I'd love to see.