May 24, 2012

The Unicorn Conspiracy

So my Secretary of State, Ken Bennett, finally gave up his ridiculous "birther" crusade after Hawaii verified the facts of President Obama's birth.

(If I had been one of those Hawaiian officials Bennett kept pestering, I would have told him to take a flying leap at a rolling doughnut. You can't accept established facts? Sucks to be you.)

The thing that gets me is that Bennett supposedly began this stupidity because of 1,200 emails from constituents.

Honestly, it would surprise me greatly if there were only 1,200 nuts in my state. Nevertheless, does that mean we have to pay attention to them? Ken Bennett certainly ignored the petition (signed by more than 17,000 people) asking him to investigate whether or not Mitt Romney is a unicorn, and rightly so; such a supposition is ridiculous on its face (although a rather clever response).

So is the idea that the President was not born in this country.

Answer me this, Mr. Bennett. If 1200 of your constituents asked you to hunt down a Sasquatch, or drag Nessie from the murky waters of her loch, or dig up the alien bodies buried in Roswell, or open the old rusty hangar containing captured interstellar spacecraft in Area 51, would you sit up and hop to just because they're your constituents?

No? Then why would you pander to the equally loony birther crowd?

The proper response should have been this, a form email sent to all who questioned the President's birthplace.

Dear Arizona voter,

Thank you for your inquiry regarding the President's birth certificate. The answer to your question can be found here on the White House web site. As you'll see on the bottom of the PDF, Hawaii's state registrar on April 25, 2011 certified this is a true copy of the record on file. 

Of course, you are free to reject this evidence, and it is your right to believe whatever you wish regarding the President. However, if you insist on pushing these cockamamie ideas, you will have to do it without the State of Arizona's help. As Secretary of State, I will not allow our wonderful state to be dragged into this ridiculousness. 

I look forward to hearing from you on any other topic. Please do not bother me with this one again.


Ken Bennett

See how easy that is?

1 comment:

Montana said...

Ken Bennett should either put up or shut-up (or is he Alfalfa from the Little Rascals).

Lets be clear none of these Birther dullards have taken there “Birther Documents of facts, more like lies” and won a case in the “U.S. Courts”, maybe in their simple minds (if they have any) but not in our “U.S. Courts”, so unless Birthers/ teabaggers, whatever you want to be called, win a court case, we will continue to see as dullards, liars or racist or maybe all three. Deal with that baby!

And enjoy voting for the Mitt, the first “Republican Anchor Baby”! Too Funny!