This is just great. I usually don't link to Huff Post, but this is worth it. A sharp reminder that in many cases today's comedians are doing what used to be called "journalism."
How to Speak Republican
Bible: A sacred text that provides incontestable answers when thumped.
Christmas: A holiday commemorating the birth of Jesus Christ, now rarely celebrated due to persecution by atheists.
Deficits: 1) Fiscal shortfalls incurred by Democrats that threaten to bankrupt the country. 2) Fiscal shortfalls incurred by Republicans that don't matter.
Extremist (Liberal): Espousing or adhering to political beliefs that are held by only a majority of Americans.
Fact: Information that has been verifiably posted to a RedState comment board.
Jesus: Charismatic religious leader and son of God; born in Bethlehem in the year 0; beliefs include love, charity, enhanced interrogation, privatized healthcare, elimination of the estate tax, and the right to carry concealed semiautomatic weapons.
Ronald Reagan: A fictional character based loosely on President Ronald Reagan.
I mean, really. How can sincere conservatives/Teapugs not read this and realize they're turning into a national joke?