October 4, 2010

We're All Out of Love

Jeez, what a teetotal prick.

Some high- (or low-) lights:

I blame Air Supply.

And the entire male cast of Friends.

As a gender, the modern man has been socialized into bumbling submission.

Doting, indecisive and generally wimpy, too many of us have lost the ancient protocols of manhood.

Hey, I like Air Supply. I also like men (and more than that, persons) who are strong enough to be vulnerable; who admit they can be hurt; and who, because they recognize their own vulnerability, are considerate of other people's feelings. And if losing the "ancient protocols of manhood" means leaving behind the vicious patriarchal cycle of control and domination, then good riddance.

Consider the basic proposition posed by Toronto writer Elliott Katz in his self-help guide for the whipped male called Being the Strong Man A Woman Wants: Our fathers, bewildered by the feminist revolution, have failed to hand down the kind of testosterone-laced wisdom that defined our gender throughout history.

"Testosterone-laced?" That sounds rather poisonous, doesn't it? Just because it supposedly "defined our gender throughout history" doesn't make it right.

And a recent essay in The Atlantic — provocatively titled “The End of Men” — reports that after being the dominant sex since the dawn of time, “that is changing — and with shocking speed.”

This role reversal – including the female eclipse of men in universities and the professional world — is all part of the bruising being sustained by the modern male ego.

You mean the "privileged" sex, don't you? For those whose entire self-worth is wrapped up in their sense of privilege, there's nothing more terrifying than its loss. There's nothing more frightening than viewing the entire world as a zero-sum game, where if others gain you inevitably lose.

Except you don't have to view the world in that way. A truly secure person rejoices in the elevation of others, knowing it doesn't take anything away from himself. A truly secure person doesn't view marriage and relationships as a battle of wills, where someone has to take charge. A secure person knows the "modern male ego" is a figment of John Wayne's imagination, and strives to put childish things behind him.

Maturity: try it sometime. Betcha your wife will like you better, too.


Luna said...

Hi. I'm Luna from http://feministchristian.blogspot.com.

I was looking around and found your blog and had to chuckle about our names being so similar and that I had this same layout not that long ago! I was going to lay into you for even stealing my idea for a tagline, but lo and behold you've been around the blogosphere much longer than I! Ha. Good thing I looked. Great minds think alike, I guess!

Anyway, I'm pleased to make your acquaintance and I'm definitely going to add you to my blogroll.

Julie Canny said...

May the Lord forgive me, but what I can't understand is this. Why on earth do these men think they're going to disappear and be annihilated when they can't dominate women around them anymore?

It's almost as though they get some type of disassociative disorder. Truthfully, it's a little frightening to watch. Why are they insisting on basing their identity, even the feeling of their existence, on whether they can push around the one they're supposed to love and care for?